this couple called in a “pick up” order & did the slick move of eating it at the bar right out of the bag to avoid tipping but i know this move very well so i secretly charged them more to even things out
POT & PANS – I created this sketch 2 years before my official crack at stand up comedy & it was featured on New York Magazine’s website:
RASTA CLAUS - I created this video a year & a half ago & it’s gotten a little buzz on YouTube with over 11,000 views:
working years in the vegan restaurant business, i’ve had my fair share of odd requests so here’s a good one from today’s busy lunch shift. A guy orders a wrap & goes, “So I eat VERY slowly… just bring out half & leave the other half somewhere heated so it’s still warm by the time i finish the first half.”
I almost laughed in his face because I couldn’t believe he was serious. When you’re done sir, would you like me to bring out half of your bill & you pay me the other when you’re more financially stable? Or perhaps you can just stick the other half up your ass where it ill surely stay warm!
The worst part? He ate at a normal pace. #schmuck
I had a great time performing at the DeLux Gallery this past Friday night. I had a strong set where even my vegetarian jokes did well. Here I am talking about Jamaicans:
And here is a silly movie trailer I made for my character who aggressively cat calls women on the streets: